


and to go through your struggles with you

by supernaturalsun



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sharing a Bed, yesterday at midnight I learned about Kirby's surgery and 17 hours later we got this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:54:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28408074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernaturalsun/pseuds/supernaturalsun
Summary: Kirby’s strong. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like a baby.Adam’s not saying Kirby will be smart enough to tell him when he needs him because he knows there is also a good chunk of pride in that personality, but Adam needs to find a way to be there for Kirby without overwhelming him. He knows he can do that.
Relationships: Adam Boqvist/Kirby Dach
Comments: 2
Kudos: 64





	and to go through your struggles with you

**Author's Note:**

> So, like I said in the tags. I saw the news about Kirby's surgery when I was mostly falling asleep yesterday and I decided to write down my idea and I finished that yesterday. So this is very much spur of the moments and like, some feelings, I guess.
> 
> Something that doesn't really matter : I didn't get to write it in but I headcannoned that Lyndsey and Alex are together in this but she's at her parents place for the holidays, or something. Just because it was easier that way.

At first, the hit itself doesn’t look awful. It’s Kirby’s pained face and the fact that he immediately heads for the locker room that has Adam at the edge of his seat, bottom lip worried between his teeth.

He notices Alex’s hand on his shoulder after a couple of beats but it still takes him a while to back down on the couch. He doesn’t mean to blow up Kirby’s phone that night, sure that everyone is already doing so, and it’s not like he’s expecting anything back, but anyway.

The first sign of life he gets from Kirby actually comes from Alex the next morning: “Kirby’s out. They’re having him head back to Chicago tomorrow, I offered him to stay here and he said yes.”

Adam’s heart immediately speeds up for two reasons. First: Kirby’s getting here. Tomorrow. To stay with them. In twenty-four hours he’ll see Kirby for the first time in months, earlier than they had planned, and that’s _good_. Then his brain catches up on the fact that Kirby’s _out_ and _oh_ , fuck.

Adam wants to go pick up Kirby from the airport but Alex says they have someone from the organization doing it because of Covid. Adam wants to argue he knows how to wear a mask and wash his hands and stay away from strangers but eventually, he stops sulking and accepts it, taking Ralph and Burt on a walk to blow up some of his excess energy.

Kirby gets here around noon on the 25th and he tells them that’s he’s fine about 5 times and Adam tries his best to not be awkward about everything.

Kirby— Kirby is the center who solidified himself a place on the 2nd or 3rd line for the whole season, mere months after his draft. He’s the guy who, at rookie camp, last summer, wrapped Adam in a hug from behind, arms solid around his shoulders, and told him with unyielding confidence that they were both going to get into the show this year. On the road in February, Kirby slept in Adam’s bed when Adam’s grandmother had a health scare and he was too anxious to find sleep easily. Adam hears him giving pep talks to Cozens and Byram, assuring them that he was good and that they were going to win the championship without him.

Kirby’s strong. He doesn’t _deserve_ to be treated like a baby.

Adam’s not saying Kirby will be smart enough to tell him when he needs him because he knows there is also a good chunk of pride in that personality, but Adam needs to find a way to be there for Kirby without overwhelming him. He knows he can do that.

They watch Canada destroy Germany together with Alex, they watch dumb Christmas movies on Netflix and play some games of cards which have Alex calling Kirby a dirty cheater enough times for Adam to end up crying of laughter about it.

It’s not that they’re pretending that Kirby’s injury is not a thing because they all know it very much is and Kirby can’t play NHL 21 or cut his own meat and they have to help him with basic stuff. It’s just-- not a thing they talk about despite Alex and Adam trying once each and then not trying it again.

Kirby has to go out for more exams and on the 27th, he comes back home telling them that he’s going to have surgery the next day. He leaves Adam and Alex thirty seconds to take it in and then he’s asking them if they’re good to now watch the final episode of the Mandalorian.

On Monday morning, Linda from their medical team comes to the apartment to accompany Kirby to the hospital (which Adam can once again not do, because of stupid Covid exposition rules). Alex makes him play like ten rounds of NHL 21 just so he can stop pacing around in the living room like a lunatic (Alex’s words).

The door rings a bunch of hours later and Adam does not trip over his feet when getting up, thank you very much.

“Everything went fine,” Linda starts with. “The doctor said he might still feel drowsy from the anesthesia but besides that, it’s all good. The meds are in his back with his prescription. You can always call me if there is any issue, my number is in Kirby’s phone and with the prescription papers.”

Adam nods all along, taking notes in his head and grabbing the bag Linda hands him.

“I’m right here,” Kirby says, voice a little rough and annoyed. His white cast is hard to miss and he does look drowsy and a little groggy. Adam can’t help a small smile.

When Linda is gone, everyone having made a promise to call if any need arose, they’re all left standing up awkwardly in Alex’s entry, Ralph and Burt agitated at their feet.

“Alright, now that I know you’re home and okay, I’m gonna take the dogs for a walk, be good.”

And yeah, that last part is headed in their direction because Alex can be awkward when he wants to crack a tension but Adam loves him like that.

Things are still a little weird when Alex is gone, the apartment sickeningly silent now that Burt and Ralph are no longer shuffling around.

“Hm, do you need anything ?” Adam asks after a beat too many.

“I think I’m just gonna go lie down, I know it’s probably going to fuck up my night but I feel tired,” Kirby answers and Adam nods easily, grabbing a couple of stuff from the kitchen before joining Kirby in his room, finding him sitting on the bed.

“I’ve put Gatorade and an energy bar on your bedside table. I’ll leave your meds right here. I can plug your phone for you if you want me to. Did you have time to call your parents? I’ll be out there if you need anything, please tell me if you need help.”

Adam might be rambling, he didn’t mean to. Whatever.

“It’s all good, thank you,” Kirby nods.

“Okay, good. That’s good. I guess I’ll leave you to it then.”

“Can you help me ?” Kirby asks softly and Adam frowns, it takes his eyes a second to zoom in on Kirby’s struggle, the button of his jeans still unopened. “I’m a righty, this is going to suck so much.”

Adam takes a step forward before dropping one knee to the floor, his cheeks going up in flames when he settles his hands on Kirby’s legs. This— this is nothing he wouldn’t do if Kirby was drunk, for example. He never _had_ to deal with it but he totally would have, if the need had arisen one day. It’s okay.

It’s a situation of intimacy he can’t deny even if it’s in the worst context for the exact gestures to happen and Adam tries his best to focus, willing his cheeks to just calm down already.

“You’ll get the hang of it. I know you will. You’re good like that.”

His words earn him a chuckle from Kirby so Adam looks up and _oh no_ — not Kirby looking at him with fondness in his eyes when Adam is basically kneeling at his feet, none of that. 

Adam swallows and does his best to focus, getting Kirby’s pants off after Kirby lift his hips for him and then getting up to help Kirby with his sweatshirt too. 

He has folded and put the clothes away, ready to leave, when he gets held back.

“Can you stay ?” Kirby asks, his voice small, the contrast harsh with how deep it usually is.

His shoulders are dropped, expression sad, _tired_. It’s like the happy front he’s been putting up for everyone the last few days has finally vanished, leaving his feelings exposed for only Adam to see.

“Yeah, of course,” he answers past the weight in his throat and then helps Kirby settle himself down, on his stomach under the sheets, with pillows to elevate his wrist and keep it from moving too much during his sleep.

Once Kirby has affirmed to him three times that he was good, Adam nods vigorously before shrugging his sweatpants and hoodie off and joining Kirby in the bed. He settles on his stomach, pillow hugged between his arms.

There is light coming off from under the door because it’s still the middle of the afternoon and it’s enough for Adam to discern the lines of Kirby’s face. They’re awfully close for how made for two people the bed is supposed to do. Way closer than they usually are on the road, when they fall asleep on their own bed talking to each other with hushed tones and never remembering the next morning during the middle of which sentence they did fall asleep.

“4 to 5 months, they said,” Kirby mostly whispers after a couple of minutes, surprising Adam who thought he was in Morphee’s arms already. “The cast will go before that but I’m not going to be skating before a while. They might have well said ten months, this is the whole season going away for a goddamn exhibition game.”

Adam swallows. He already made peace with the fact there’s nothing ideal he can say but he can still listen and be there for Kirby, all the way.

“Hey,” he answers softly. “Don’t beat yourself over it, it’s not your fault and you know you had the right to go out there. Everyone gave you their approbation. This could have happened on our season opener, it’s just— hockey is shitty sometimes. You’re still part of the team.”

Kirby huffs and Adam might not win the motivational speech of the year but whatever, Kirby’s talking, it’s good.

“I just—,” Kirby pauses, seemingly looking for the right words to express his feelings. “I made promises and I had so many expectations for myself for this tournament and this whole season, I was going to be better, we were going to tear it up, and now, it’s all fucked up.”

Adam nods, he says “I understand that'' because it feels like a good start and indeed, it seems enough for Kirby to keep going, and Adam lets him. He lets him vent, listening when Kirby tells him how excited he was to captain the boys and have the World Juniors experience, just like Jonny. He hums here and there, assures Kirby he’s still here, and looks at his friend while he tells him about his training the previous months, what he felt during the last playoffs, what he wanted to do differently this year. 

He’s not sure how long it is before Kirby’s words start to get slower, slurred together, more mumbled than anything. Adam hasn’t heard the front door so he’s pretty sure Alex is still out with the dogs, gone for the long walk. Alex has given them room, Adam realizes and promptly feels okay about it.

Kirby has been silent for a couple of minutes when Adam finally notices his quieter breath, the barely noticeable but still present rise and fall of his body next to him. That’s also right there that Adam realizes he intertwined the fingers of his right hand with Kirby’s left, the good one, at some point during their conversation. Kirby’s palm is warm in his grip and Adam lets himself squeeze once before closing his eyes too, falling asleep promptly. He doesn't know the next step of his _help Kirby out_ plan yet but for now, he thinks he's doing okay.

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me @ macknnons on tumblr :)


End file.
